epiphanies

I have been trying to write this post for the past week but the varying levels of intensity in the closing days of October have been pulling me elsewhere and when I come back I feel as if we are evolving so fast we’ve already moved on from where I was at.

Now it’s November and the first words I see relating to this month are about finding the courage to live your own dream and yet as I ponder this concept in my mind I write it down as being brave enough to write your own story, which is amusing to me because the words came via the page of Elizabeth Gilbert and I just finished a conversation about not seeing where my new path might take me.

But today I am writing these words on the road midway through another 2.5 day road trip back to North Queensland. This is what I have been waiting for since meeting my soul partner 6 months ago and as soon as an opening appeared, we both jumped on it to create a space where we could come together. When we met we lived 2000kms apart and slowly over the past few months I have packed up my life and moved my way further north as funds have allowed. Now I am on the final leg of this life changing journey, not only to begin a brand new life in soul partnership but to return to the beautiful North, the land where I have always wanted to be.

What I am do there when I arrive I am not yet sure and this what our conversation was about as we discussed the way his creative life is already opening up miraculous ways. He is embracing his creative talents and is already starting to see it beginning to flow in tangible ways.

But my courage to pack up and move north is action enough towards living my own dream as we all know that living the life that you came here to have also means being willing to let go of the life you thought you were having. I have left a lot behind but I hold no regrets as I know I am doing what’s right for me, which brings me back to Elizabeth Gilbert’s words.

Elizabeth of course, is the author of the hugely successful Eat Pray Love (2006), a book I’ve never read. The story though, was adapted into a feature film several years later and was something I had recently watched before departing on this next leg of my own journey.

I had trouble facing EPL when it was released as it was too close to my own story. Elizabeth and I are the same age and the year the book was released I was experiencing a similar situation to her, divorce and a life in disarray. Only I didn’t have the opportunity to take a year’s travel to heal the wounds of that experience. Nor did I have a neatly compartmentalised awakening to spiritual life. My experience was wildly unstable and constantly unpredictable. I lost everything over and over. It began 8 years ago and even now I am building a new life on not much more than a big armful of Love and a big, wide, open Heart.

But even so, I like what she writes. Why live someone else’s dream? If there’s anything this intensifying energy is teaching us, it’s finding the courage to believe our own story is valid. We can choose to live life however we want and the more authentic it is to our own path, the more likely it will work for the long term. It’s taken me some time to truly believe in this, to make peace with all that’s passed and yet this is another thing we are learning. In order to embrace the future we must first make peace with our past.

So now, en route to yet another new home, I have the epiphany that this is my 12th move during this rollercoaster ride that has been the last 8 years. It could very well be the opening of my 12th road. The path that stems from so many other decisions I’ve made and not made, and from coming to know what feels right for me, even when it goes against what others think would be better for me.

But the real epiphany comes in trusting that when we take the first step in living a soulful life, the Universe will be there to guide and support us. I’ve just sensed the first inklings of a creative idea and given time, inspired action and a positive focus, I have no doubt there will be plenty to develop that will provide a solid foundation for a meaningful and happy future.